If You Had Controlling Parents

If You Had Controlling Parents

Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among 15 million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. Too much or the wrong kinds of control in childhood can cause lasting problems in adulthood, and these connections are often subtle and hard to spot. If you have problems or habits that stubbornly resist change, they may be symptoms of unresolved issues with a controlling parent or upbringing. In this groundbreaking book, accomplished family therapist Dr. Dan Neuharth offers a self-test to help you identify whether you are facing problems in adulthood caused by unhealthy control in childhood. You will understand both how and why your parents may have overcontrolled you and find dozens of practical suggestions that can help you solve your problems at the very root. This book will enable you to quiet your "inner critics," bring more balance to your moods and relationships, increase your optimism and assertiveness, and achieve greater autonomy. It offers a variety of ways to deal with stressful family holidays, parents who still control, and parental aging and mortality. It will help you to make peace with your past and break the cycle of control so you can avoid overcontrolling your own children and other loved ones. Based on extensive interviews and research and packed with thought-provoking insights, If You Had Controlling Parents also includes engaging profiles of a richly diverse group of adults who grew up overcontrolled. These inspiring examples of how others have come to grips with the detrimental consequences of early control will provide you with a road map for accelerating your own growth and healing. If you have felt driven to pursue your parents' values and dreams ahead of your own, this compassionate book explains that no one is to blame and reminds you that unhealthy control is a generations-old cycle that can stop with you. If your parents controlled you in unhealthy ways, they may have unwittingly planted land mines in your psyche. As a result, you may tiptoe through life expecting buried danger, not treasure, in your path. You may wait...and wait...for permission to love, succeed, and feel content. Permission you're not sure how to get. Permission you may have difficulty granting to yourself. This book is packed with features to help you thrive even if you had far too little permission to be yourself as a child. Knowledge is power, and powerful growth and healing come from understanding, not blaming, your parents or upbringing. You'll discover: Fifty reasons why people control in unhealthy ways--and how recognizing these reasons can help you cope with controlling mates, friends, family members, or work associates How overcontrol of your eating, dress, privacy, social life, speech, and feelings in childhood may still hamper you in adult life How controlling families use "Truth Abuse" to cement unhealthy loyalties that last for years--and how to gain autonomy The eight styles of controlling parenting--Smothering, Depriving, Perfectionistic, Cultlike, Chaotic, Using, Abusing, and Childlike If you or someone you love grew up with unhealthy control, this book offers discovery and resolution. With the guidance of accomplished family therapist Dr. Dan Neuharth, discover what may lie underneath some of your most stubborn and troubling habits, patterns, or problems and resolve your relationship with your parents, whether they are living or dead. If your childhood felt like a scene from Mommie Dearest or The Great Santini--or if you simply feel confused about how you were raised--make peace with your past so you can truly take your place in the world.


Publisher Harper
Release Date
ISBN 9780060191917
Pages 272 pages
If You Had Controlling Parents
Language: en
Pages: 272
Authors: Dan Neuharth
Categories: Self-Help
Type: BOOK - Published: 1998-09-09 - Publisher: Harper

Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you strug
The Heart-connected Life...for Parents
Language: en
Pages: 166
Authors: Susan Cottrell
Categories: Religion
Type: BOOK - Published: 2009 - Publisher: Xulon Press

From a sea of parenting advice emerges The Heart-Connected Life... for Parents, a breakthrough, intelligent look at parents and teens. Intimate and relatable, S
Problems are Opportunities
Language: en
Pages: 330
Authors: Yvonne A. Posthuma
Categories: Family & Relationships
Type: BOOK - Published: 2011-05 - Publisher: Xulon Press

Tragedy strikes a family, and the father rejects the mother's entire family. She losses her zest for life, and their daughters, Yvonne and Mary Ellen, live with
AARP Healing Your Emotional Self
Language: en
Pages: 207
Authors: Beverly Engel
Categories: Self-Help
Type: BOOK - Published: 2011-12-19 - Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

AARP Digital Editions offer you practical tips, proven solutions, and expert guidance. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engel provides a program to help
Something Untoward
Language: en
Pages: 100
Authors: Sophie Hannah
Categories: Fiction
Type: BOOK - Published: 2012-10-25 - Publisher: Hachette UK

Six short tales of chilling suspense from bestselling author of Haven't They Grown Sophie Hannah, plus an exclusive extract from her new psychological thriller,
Language: en
Pages: 226
Categories: Family & Relationships
Type: BOOK - Published: 2022-05-06 - Publisher: Authors Tree Publishing

This is the first book on this issue by an Indian author. English is very simple and easy to understand by anyone not having English as their first language. In
How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty ...
Language: en
Pages: 272
Authors: Connie V Hatch
Categories: Self-Help
Type: BOOK - Published: 2011-05-31 - Publisher: Random House

'How to Say no without feeling guilty teaches practical skills for embracing what's important and getting rid of what is keeping us from living the lives we wan
The Toxic Parents Survival Guide
Language: en
Pages: 266
Authors: Bryn Collins
Categories: Family & Relationships
Type: BOOK - Published: 2018-10-09 - Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

If you or someone you love grew up with an emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, or selfish parent, you probably struggle with residual feelings of anger, aban
Women's Health
Language: en
Pages: 112
Type: BOOK - Published: 2006-01 - Publisher:

Womens Health magazine speaks to every aspect of a woman's life including health, fitness, nutrition, emotional well-being, sex and relationships, beauty and st
The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
Language: en
Pages: 304
Authors: Randi Kreger
Categories: Family & Relationships
Type: BOOK - Published: 2009-06-03 - Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. "Randi Kreger has done it again! Wit